I have my two wonderful kids and bombed on the first choice of “Mr. Wonderful”.  I don’t look to make that mistake again.  The main part of that wrong choice that bothers me is that now my beautiful children have to “pay” for that misconception of “Mr. Wonderful”.  But, we won’t go too deeply into that subject here.  That is it’s own topic and not something I want to think too much about while writing about my childhood passion. 

I don’t remember what or who made me want to be a nurse.  Maybe because at that time it was the only thing that I could see that was available to women who wanted a career.  Maybe because I had the desire to help others and be someone that other people could look to for help when they needed it.  That is my personality.  I am a helper.  I am someone that wants to help others, sometimes even more than I help myself.  It makes me feel good to know that someone else has been helped by me.  Even back then I had that strong compassion.  Even such compassion for a child’s toy, a stuffed animal.  I can remember taking care of an old stuffed PINKISH cat that my mom sewed and stuffed for me.  I slept with it at night, tucked it in to bed and treated it as if it was real and had real feelings.  I was a nurturer.  I still am.  

I have been worried over the last 12 years what was going to happen to me and my wonderful boys when something happened to my mom.  I think that is part of what made me stay in such a horrible relationship so long.  I was afraid to do it alone.  I had no job, no advanced education and no real means of supporting myself and my children.  Every time that I did manage to talk someone into hiring me, it didn’t take too long for a nurse or three to call in and my job get tired of me calling in and let me go.  That is such a polite way to say getting fired.  I don’t feel like being polite to them.  I was very hurt and would go home to cry every time.  It wasn’t new and I got where I fully expected it, but still every time it would make me cry and depress me for several days. 

I have been thinking that these nurses in this home health work sure do have it made.  They can set their own hours (to a certain extent) and can decide when they can or can’t or will or won’t work.  In Jamie’s case there isn’t a whole lot of real “work” to do, it is mainly being here for him so that if something should happen to him, someone is right there to help “fix it”.  They can get paid pretty well for that task and can chose their own hours and don’t get fired for taking off time for vacations.  That sounds like a pretty great idea to me.  After all, I do the work that they do already and in some cases have done more for him than they do.  I have done CPR on him 4-6 times over the years and I believe that if I can handle that well enough to get him back then I should be able to handle taking care of someone else’s child like him.  I get scared thinking about it sometimes because I know that if I couldn’t save someone else’s child it would really, really, really, really really upset me but I also know that I would do my best to save them and that I have the capability just as well as anyone else that would be there in their home to do so.  It is a lot easier to remain calm if it isn’t your own child. 

I have been trying to decide what to take.  LPN or RN.  (Licensed Practical Nursing or Registered Nursing).  I had first thought I wanted to take the LPN classes first and then one day go on to be a RN.  Right now, while I am not working and have nothing but time, why not pursue the ultimate goal of RN.  Why wait until I am working and have to take time to study around my family and job.  Now, I only have to deal with school and family.  I have decided to apply to the RN program.  I will not be able to apply until February 2010 for the September 2010 program start date.  I am OK with that.  I am taking Anatomy and Physiology I and Developmental Psychology in Jan 09.  I am studying at Lord Fairfax Community College (http://www.lfcc.edu).  It is a community college that offers both the LPN and RN programs.  The nursing school curriculum says that I have to have 69 credits, of which I have obtained 3.  That sure doesn’t sound like a lot but it is better than having 0.  I have to take a computer competency class, which I am sure that I can pass.  I am going to try to do that over the summer.  It isn’t included in the 69 credits because it is a nursing school prerequisite.  There are others too, but I took the placement tests for them and passed so that I don’t have to take them.  I may be able to pass some of the computer placement test, if there is one but what I have learned the most is the internet.  I don’t know a lot about spread sheets and other office type software, so I definitely want to take the course. 

There is a huge nursing shortage.  If you are the type of person that wants to help others maybe you should think about a career in nursing.  There are many programs in nursing at community colleges and that does help out with the nursing school tuition a lot.  I couldn’t do it at a place like UVA nursing school.  They are a great program, I have met many of the students (that is where Jamie spent a lot of time and still does) but the tuition is more than with the community colleges. 

I have always been nervous about the responsibility of being a nurse.  To have someones life in my hands can get a little overwhelming.  Anytime that starts to get to me, I just remember….

If I have gotten Jamie this far… further than he was expected to make it… then I must have some talent for this job.  I must have some skills that could help another family to keep their child healthy and with them.  I will always do my best and that is all that anyone can do.  What do you think???   I would love to hear from you….

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1. Make dinner for her.  There are plenty of women who work, chauffeur the children, and still make it home in time to prepare a hot dinner.  Take the responsibility off of her hands at least one night a week if you can.  This may take a bit of planning, but it will be well worth it, trust me.  Even if she gets home before you do, offer to take over and finish the meal.  As a treat, feed the kids first and save two plates for a romantic dinner after the kids are bathed and tucked in bed.
   
   
2. Run a hot bath.  Remember hot baths?  They are those warm, sudsy experiences we used to have time for before the kids came along.  When the kids are ready for a little play with dad or after they are in bed for the night, run a bath for your wife so that she gets a much deserved break from her day.  The waters will soak away the cares of the day and leave her ready to change from worker bee and mom to wife.  Add a glass of wine and the bath will be perfect.
   
   
3. Place notes in unexpected places.  Men are not adept at this, so it will come as a complete surprise.  Put a special love note in her underwear drawer or write it in the steam on the bathroom mirror.  There are a ton of places you can drop little notes of love and appreciation for your wife.
   
   
4. Call her throughout the day.  She won’t be expecting sweet nothings to be whispered in her ear during the day.  Tell her you love her and wanted to make sure she was alright.
   
   
5. Give her a back massage.  Picking up toys, cooking, driving, and the like take its toll on the back.  Playtime in the tub with the kids is a back breaker, too.  Use a warming massage gel to cut the pain as you soothe away the aches and pains with your manly touch.
   
   
6. Get involved in an activity that she likes.  Women like when men show genuine interest in them.  This includes their activities.  You don’t have to join a knitting circle or sewing group, but attend a meeting to show your support and love.  Ask her to explain what she does in her cooking class.  Cooking together can be fun and quite romantic when done at home.
   
   
7. Pick up after yourself.  I pick up socks and shoes on a daily basis.  I’ve usually tripped over the shoes first, though.  Women are wired to be caregivers.  Lighten her load by putting your own things away.  She can spend more time focusing on you when she doesn’t have to pick up after you.

Love doesn’t require a big production or lots of dough.  If you keep it simple, she’ll still get the message - you love and appreciate her very much.

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First, don’t get overwhelmed.  Start off with small gestures to get the ball rolling.  If you have been stuck in the mommy rut for a good amount of time, he won’t even see it coming. 

Remember when we were kids?  We scribbled the name of another kid that we liked on our notebooks.  For boys, they resorted to pulling the pigtails of their favorite gal.  Be a kid again and do those puppy love things we all used to do.

Most husbands get dressed and go to work each day.  Slip a note in the pocket of his jacket.  Tell him one thing that makes you love him.  Each week you can give him a new reason for the mad love inside of you. 

Give him a kiss when he leaves.  If your job requires you to leave before him, give him a wet one on the lips while he is still snug in bed.  Kisses are quite underrated.  Remember how even a little kiss gave us goose bumps when we were just getting to know our spouses?  Let them lead the way back to a more romantic relationship.

Greet him at the door after a hard day of work.  This sounds cheesy but it is a nice touch.  He’ll know that someone missed him.  Meet him at the bedroom door later on in the evening if he happens to arrive home before you do. 

While most men don’t let their emotions get in the way of their sex lives, gestures of love do move them.  Your show of love gives them a sense of confidence in themselves.  They will be more likely to seek out ways to show love that makes you happy instead of just guessing.

Asking about his day keeps the lines of communication open between the two partners.  The object is to listen as he talks.  If he is a rocket scientist or something else technical, you may need to break out a book or two to understand what he is talking about.  Since he already knows this, just being a sounding board for him is sometimes good enough.

It doesn’t take much, but it does take a concerted effort to add something special to the relationship with your spouse.  A bit at a time, begin to show attention to your spouse in new ways.  Both of you will be more receptive during more intimate encounters as a result.

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1. Tell him that you love him.  We don’t say it near enough to each other.  For most, the words are “understood.”  The flaw in that train of thinking is that the understanding can get confusing as time goes on and there is no communication.  Tell him when he leaves and when he returns home.  End your emails and calls with a special I Love You!  Even write a note for him only.
   
   
2. Send him off properly.  Have his work items next to the door so he won’t have to go searching for them.  If your husband is anything like mine, he makes a wide grid search for his keys every morning.  Help him out by having his briefcase, keys, and cell phone next to the door and ready to go.  You will be helping him get out of the house and on his way to work on time without the stress of forgetting something.
   
   
3. Fix him breakfast in bed.  This is something we see on television but many don’t even think to do.  They sell those breakfast trays for a few dollars in most home stores.  If you have kids to get ready in the morning, then do this on the weekend.  You can surprise him with a simple breakfast of cereal (cold or hot) and juice on one day during the week.  Rotate the schedule so that he doesn’t get used to your breakfast treats on any certain day.
   
   
4. Meet him at work for lunch.  If your man works close by and your schedule allows for it, have lunch together.  This requires a bit of forethought since most people’s work schedules don’t mesh without some finagling.  Fix a picnic lunch that can be eaten outside at a picnic table or on the grassy knoll.  Choosing a few of his favorites gives him something to look forward to besides your bright shining face.
   
   
5. How about a foot massage?  Feet have a hard time.  They take on the pressure of our entire bodies on a daily basis without any thanks.  Give his tired feet a well deserved rest with a foot rub.  Contrary to popular opinion, men like that spa-like attention.  For women who are squeamish about touching or handling feet, soak his feet in some warm water and foot scrub before beginning the massage.  You can do it before bed or while you talk about each other’s day.

Love doesn’t have to be expensive to have meaning.  Sometimes, the simplest things have the most lasting effects.  Trying even just one of these suggestions to sure to help your husband feel more appreciated and loved.  Who knows he might just start returning the favor if you’re lucky too.

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Sometimes we have trouble carving out fifteen minutes for any more activities, so five minute intervals will be right up your alley.  But, beware - these five minutes can be tantalizing enough to keep you tied up for many minutes more.  That being said, use caution when deciding on the time of your romantic overtures.

Start early in the morning.  Take a shower together.  At worst, you conserve water by turning it on only once that morning.  At best, well, I think you know where I’m going.  A shower together is a great way to say good morning.

Shave your man’s five o’clock shadow.  This takes a lot of trust and a steady hand.  Men like it when we take charge once in a while so give him the shave of his life.

After a hard day at work, we all have a bit of tension in our joints.  Sit your partner down and give them a neck massage.  Remember this is no ordinary neck massage though.  Be sure to take advantage of the entire five minutes. 

Start by unbuttoning a shirt or blouse for your love and easing it off of their shoulders.  Use a warm lotion or gel to work out the kinks in the muscles.  Try alternating deep muscle massage with gentler strokes to loosen them up.

In our homes, we often pass each other without a word.  Many couples live in the same house but act like nothing more than roommates, sometimes worse - strangers.  The next time you pass him or her in the hall, give them a big surprise.  Pin them against the wall and shower them with kisses for five minutes.  Hopefully, by the end of the five minutes they will join in the fun.

Aphrodisiacs are supposed to make us feel in a romantic mood.  Serve up a before bed snack of chocolate covered strawberries and other fruit.  Add a bit of bubbly for even more romance. 

These romantic ideas don’t take a lot of time, but the effects will last beyond the moment.  They add a bit of spontaneity which is missing in the busy lives of most couples.  Take back your romance five minutes at a time.

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What is the worst part of dinner?  I would say it is the preparation.  After work or a day chasing the kids, the last thing mom wants to do is perspire over a hot stove to fix food that the family will only half eat.  After all that work you may be too tired to even eat.

Moms, I am coming to the rescue.  Have you thought about a menu planning service?  This service provides busy moms with menus tailored to the needs of their families.  They also provide shopping lists to keep your pantry stocked full of things that can be used for any number of meals.  Some services also offer organizational tips for meal prep to make it easier for busy moms to cope with dinner.

Most of the meal recipes are simple and can be prepared ahead of time or on the spot with ease.  Sometimes we just don’t know what to fix or what the kids will eat.  They offer kid friendly recipes, as well.

For the mom who would rather not spend a lot of time in her kitchen, spend some time in someone else’s.  Franchises like Let’s Dish® offer mock kitchens in their facilities for busy people to make meals ahead of time.  The premise is simple.  They take all the guesswork out of fixing a meal.

Easy to follow recipes are posted at various prep stations.  All the ingredients are right there with the appropriate measuring utensils.  The meats are fresh and lean to provide a healthy meal base for your family.  You can prepare as many or as few meals as you want.  A full portion contains six servings while a half contains three.

At dinnertime, it takes only about thirty to forty minutes to prepare each meal.  Most of them you just pop it into the oven and set the timer.  They offer side dishes and desserts as well.  You can arrive home at the same time as your family and have dinner ready thirty minutes later with your family instead of washing dishes.

If there isn’t a program like this near your home, you can create one with a few friends. Make a shopping list to create a few staples. Maybe Chili, lasagna, and chicken soup. Then, instead of making batches for one family, you each make a monster-sized batch, and share. You can do this all together or separately and just meet to split up the meals. Either way, you’ll save a lot of time and money.

Investing in a crock pot is a great idea.  Crock pots allow moms to cook an entire meal while she’s somewhere else.  Add all of your ingredients the morning of, set the dial on low, and leave for work.  That evening, dinner is served and there’s only one pot to clean.  Some crock pots have removable centers that can be cleaned in the dishwasher.  How simple is that?

Dinner doesn’t have to make you cringe.  Make it easy by planning ahead.  That way, everyone gets a good meal without the fuss. 

Would you like to save time and money by having your menus planned out ahead of time AND get a shopping list so you don’t spend money on items that you just don’t need??? 
www.HealthyMenuMailer.com – Menu Planning for your family.

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As women, we are a complicated breed.  Maybe that adds to the mystery, but not if it makes it harder for us to figure out ourselves.  In general, our emotions are tied to our sense of romance.  When we feel tired or taken for granted by our spouse, romance becomes the last thing in the world we want to pursue.

When we are dating or just after the wedding, everything is great.  We enjoy the company of our spouse and even have sex several times a week.  Life couldn’t be better, right?

Love is hard work.  Granted, when we have children, they carry away our focus with their twinkling eyes and button noses.  For a time, romance is suspended, but that is to be expected.  The problem comes in when the persona of “mom” overtakes that of “wife” and “lover.”  Instead of continuing those roles, we instead give our husbands another mother.

I hear stories on talk shows all the time about couples that wake up after thirty years of marriage to find they are lying next to a stranger.  It doesn’t happen overnight I assure you.  It takes time to grow away from your spouse.  Unfortunately, we just don’t realize it’s happening until we wake up that morning.

The marriage is the center of the entire family’s relationship.  There was husband and wife before there was mother and father.  Mom, getting back to the beginning is important.  Kids will grow up and it will be back to you and your mate.  It’s easier to handle what goes on outside of the home in our daily lives when there is a great person waiting at home who understands us.

When the kids tire us out, we can relax with our spouse.  As two halves of a whole, we complete each other.  With the kids, it seems like we are nothing more than a driver for hire or the maid.  We wouldn’t mind the maid so much if we felt the love and appreciation from our spouse.  Romance is a big part of that feeling.

Romance is more than sex.  In addition to the visual of a maid, some women feel that all they are is a vehicle for sex.  Romance involves talking, cuddling, kissing, and more. 

Lack of touch and acknowledgment by a spouse is the underlying cause of a lot of marriage breakups.  The reason that couples’ give for an impending divorce may be irreconcilable differences on paper, but it started with a break in the flow between the husband and the wife.  Not taking the time to grow together as the years go by is a mistake that can be rectified with some work. 

Without romantic gestures, moms lose the woman inside of them.  Life is about balance.  That balance shifts a little when kids come along, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

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It provides help for those kids that are being bullied off the school grounds.  The schools are required to report acts of bullying and if they don’t, then their safe school funding can be taken away. 
It helps to put a light on the bullying that is being done online, cell phones or other telecommunitcations.

Bullying just doesn’t knock down someone’s self esteem. It can change the course of their future and in some cases, they take their own life and have no future. Now days, colleges check MySpace, Facebook and other online social networks to see what a future student posts. What happens when you aren’t the one that posts on your page? What happens when someone else goes on as you and puts false information on there that one day takes away your choices? Shouldn’t there be something that you can do about this? Shouldn’t there be something that makes this ILLEGAL? If you go out here and say things about someone that “gets around town”… and keeps someone from getting jobs… there is something you can do about that? Why not ONLINE?

I encourage you to write a letter to your congress person today! If you aren’t sure what you write… you can find a sample letter that you can copy and send or you can even add your personal story to it @ http://drphil.com/articles/article/576/.

Please take the time to send this (even by email) to your congress person today and help give the bullied children in our country a voice and help to protect them.

If you are being bullied and are considering suicide…. PLEASE tell your parents about what is going on. If you don’t feel comfortable telling your parents yet… then please… call
either 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) National Hopeline Network - OR Youth America Hotline @ 1-877- YOUTHLINE (968-8454) today for help!

You can find out more information about “JEFF’S LAW” at http://www.jeffreyjohnston.org/

Stumble It!
 
 

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One of the largest contributors to stress is over commitment. Families are pulled in multiple directions by varying activities. The more children there are the more activities there are, the more refined the balancing act becomes.

Think about the list of activities that you and your children are involved in. Why are they involved in each activity? Is it because they have a passion for it or is it because they needed to have a more rounded activity schedule? Let your child choose a few activities that they feel drawn to. Let them explore their passions, but don’t sign them up for every activity there is. Teach them to pick and choose their priorities when choosing activities. Doing one thing and doing it well is different from doing several things that there isn’t a passion for.

The same that applies for your children and their activities should apply to yours as well. Learn to say no. If you are already committed to several activities and are stressed for time, do you really need to participate in one more activity? Learning to say no and to weed through the activities you already do will help cut down on your stress.

A less stressed parent makes a less stressed child. Our moods and behaviors are often reflected in our children. Leading by example is a wonderful motto to live by. Our children see how we deal with stress and emulate it. Wading
through our activities and learning to say no are only two activities. Another one would be to learn to slow down and enjoy family time.

When is the last time you had a sit down meal with everyone gathered around the table? A meal where there was no rush to get somewhere or to go and pick someone up. Having a meal together is a family bonding time. It is an excellent opportunity for children and parents to be together. They can discuss what is on their minds, what goals they have or even what is bothering them, to cause stress. Just this simple act of sitting down and sharing a meal can lower stress in a family.

Have a family movie or game night. These are activities that everyone can enjoy together. Have the children and parents take turns picking out movies or games to play. There may be old family favorites or you may find new ones
that become your family’s games.

Whatever you choose, do it together. The more a family shares, at meals, movies or over games, the closer they become. A closer a family is the more they are inclined to talk and discuss things. This is a great combat against family stress.

Reduce your family’s stress with Real Life Solutions from Aurelia Williams.

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Exercise and stress are related.  Seeing my clothes dangle off of the treadmill in my bedroom (which is now used as a drying rack) is stressful, but that’s not what I’m talking about.  Exercise can reduce the amount of stress in your life.  Let’s see how.

When we are under stress, the body secretes a hormone called cortisol.  Cortisol has been shown to help the body store fat and not let it go.  As we worry, we get bigger.  Stress busters inhibit this hormone from being secreted.

One such stress buster is exercise.  Exercise keeps the body running like a well-oiled machine.  Doing it daily helps our bodies to age slower than the biological clock.  We look and feel younger despite our busy schedules.  Moms everywhere would love that.

Exercise release endorphins.  Endorphins make you feel good.  The more you exercise, the more your mood will lighten.  Blood pressure lowers and more oxygen reaches the brain.  Some people find better solutions to their stressful situations while walking on the treadmill or using the elliptical trainer.

These are byproducts of exercise that are sometimes more beneficial than the reasons we were exercising in the first place.  Exercise decreases incidence of depression without medication.  Working out with a partner doubles the benefits.  Not only do you get in shape but you can share a laugh with someone else who understands you. 

Our bodies become stronger and fit.  Slipping on those size eight jeans after having a baby the year before can reduce a lot of stress.  But exercise is not limited to the gym.  Romantic aerobics can benefit the body and combat stress.  Sex releases endorphins throughout the body without having to drive across town to the gym.

Exercising with your kids can help everyone’s stress level.  Use a walk around the neighborhood to discuss issues that are on your child’s mind.  Working through his/her problem won’t leave room for you to think about yours.  It may even give you a few ideas about how to deal with your own stress.  Helping others does put our situations in perspective.

Confidence is a part of a healthy mind and body.  When moms are confident in themselves they cope with stress better because they believe that they can.  Exercise increases confidence.  Health improves, disease is curtailed, and your outlook changes.

There is a connection between stress and exercise.  The latter can bring down the levels of the former.  Put on those sneakers and get moving!

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