Child Support Issues

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Well, tonight is the night that I am supposed to see child support getting sent to my bank account. I don’t know if that will happen tonight or not. (Sometimes it happens on Tuesday nights so I still have one more night to check if it doesn’t happen tonight) My ex husband went to another full time job again. He said he was still going to work at his old job every other weekend but the new full time job would be every night on the evening shift. He said he was going to go over to the DCSE (Division of Child Support Enforcement) where our case is and tell them that he changed and pay them what he was supposed to so that he wouldn’t get further behind. A few days after he said he was going to do this I talked to him to see if he had done it or not. He said no. I called DCSE to ask them about what would happen when his support amount was reduced and I owed them money. The woman said that what ever he owed in back support would be taken from the total and I wouldn’t owe as much and may take care of it. I know that a review can be filed every 3 years or if one of our imcomes changes by 25% or more (up or down). She was asking me if either of those applied. I told her yes, that his income has reduced by almost 1/2. She said that would be enough for a review. She asked if he was fired, I said no. They she wanted to know if he was transfered to a lower paying position by the company? I said no. She then wanted to know why was his income cut. I told her that he went to a new job. She then informed me that because he voluntarily quit his job, he would most likely be denied the review. He told me that his hours were cut so he went to another job… the way that woman talked, if he would have stayed at his old job full time and let them cut his hours, they would have cut the support because the choice was not HIS. But since he did this, he may have to continue to pay the amount that they said he would have to pay based on his old salary. I also have him on tape saying that he was going to quit his job and not pay me that much money, even if it meant going to jail.

I know that if our support was still in limbo and he was still fighting it, he may have been able to get it reduced. I also know that with the gas prices, tractor trailer jobs have been cutting back on hours…. but I also see gas coming down. I don’t know what would have happened with his hours, BUT I do know that he may not like the outcome of this. But I can’t help that. I didn’t make him quit his job and go some where else. Now he is working part time at the other job so the support orders will still go there (unless he really DID go there finally and fix it), but there won’t be enough to pay the amount on a part time jobs income… so I don’t know what is going to happen. I guess I will just call them myself and make sure that they know where he is working and make sure that it gets taken care of myself. I just had to do that with Jeremy’s insurance. I couldn’t get his medicine because the insurance was gone and medicaid wouldn’t cover it because they said the other had to be charged first and of course they said no coverage. Medicaid said that I needed to call the case worker, she said I needed something from my ex saying when it was canceled. (In almost two weeks, I hadn’t gotten the letter and Jeremy was sick and needed 4 medicines. (Walmart wrote off the balance of the other one for me). I called the insurance company and told the woman what was going on and how badly I needed the information. So, even though I was not on the policy and normally they wouldn’t do anything like that for me, she agreed and sent the information to my case worker and the medicaid was ok. I guess that is why I feel the need to take care of this support thing too. Otherwise, it may or may not get taken care of and my boys are the ones that suffer for the delay. We need groceries and I can’t go yet….. SO…. if nothing happens tonight, or tomorrow, I will call them. Maybe I will call them tomorrow anyway.

Well, I will go now. I am still really sick and I want to get to bed early tonight. I am glad that the boys are finally well, but I am sick. Mom decided to stay at the campground tonight. She loves it out there.
Have a great day!

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The Decision to Homeschool

I am not sure if anyone knows it or not but I am currently homeschooling Jamie. It has been a great choice. Not only has he learned a lot more in the less than two years we have been doing it but he has also not been as sick.

He was in third grade in school and couldn’t read yet. He got so sick over and over again that even with his IEP stating that he would miss a lot of time due to medical issues, he still had to repeat the third grade.

Now, he is reading and is so proud of himself. I believe in homeschooling a great deal and wish I could do it for both of my children. I wanted to dedicate a portion of this site to homeschooling but there is so much information to share on homeschooling that it really needs it’s own site. So, I am introducing the launch of My Mommy Teaches Me.  The site is brand new and we are adding new information all the time.  I have also included a link HERE to the homeschool that we use.  It is a catholic school, and even though we are not catholic, we chose this school for several reasons.  The reviews on the school, the location (close enough to our home that we could pick up books or other items if we had to) and the affordability of the school.  I would suggest that before signing up with ANY home school program, you do your research and find what fits in with your family and budget.

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Your Children’s Fever and when to worry

When to Worry About a High Fever
No parent likes to have a sick child regardless of what the illness is.  When they are running a temperature you may wonder when to worry about a high fever.  Here are some ideas to help you determine if a fever is something to be concerned about or not.

The average body temperature for humans is 98.6 degrees F, but it doesn’t stay exactly at that temperature.  In fact, it’s not unusual for your body’s temperature to fluctuate a degree or two throughout the day.  To determine your child’s “normal” body temp, check it a couple of times during one day while they’re healthy and then average them.

A fever is any elevation in the body’s core temperature that goes above 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit (38.0 degrees Celsius) when taken rectally, 100.0 degrees F (37.7 degrees C) when taken by mouth, or over 99.0 degrees F (37.3 degrees C) when taken under the armpit.

While a fever may be cause for alarm, the fever is just a symptom.  It’s the body’s way of defending itself against any type of infection.  Because the white blood cells work better in higher temperatures, the body increases its temperature.  It also rises because many germs can’t survive high temperatures, so your body is doing double duty fighting off the infection and killing the germs.

When a fever first strikes, it is more important to find out what is causing the fever than to worry about how high it is.  This is particularly important in children less than two months old.  If an infant that age has a high temperature, they require immediate attention and you have the right to be worried.  As a matter of fact, with any high fever your child has until they are over six months, it would be wise to call your pediatrician and let them determine if the fever warrants a visit to the doctor.

Remember that the fever isn’t an enemy to your child.  It is their body’s way of fighting off any germs that may be attempting to get a foothold in the body.  A fever CAN be a good thing because the body is fighting off infection.  However, there are times when you want to take action against a fever.  Besides a child under six months of age, here are a few times a high fever would require immediate medical attention:

* When a fever is 105 degrees F/40.5 degrees C or more.
* When a person has difficulty breathing, a stiff neck, or is confused during a high fever.
* When a high fever is accompanied by the inability to move or if a seizure is involved.
* When any of the following symptoms also occur with the fever:  abnormal or persistent stomach pain, rapid or labored breathing, headache with an adverse reaction to bright light.

A fever, in general, isn’t anything to worry about because your body is doing what it was intended to do – fight off infection.  However, if the temperature gets too high you may want to contact your child’s doctor and let them give you advice about whether or not to bring them in for a visit.  In some cases there’s nothing to worry about, but if they have any of the above symptoms, you’re right to worry and they need to be seen by a doctor. 

I would also recommend that if you can’t get your children’s fever to go down after giving them medication, seek medical attention.  If you are at all nervous or anxious or worried about your child’s condition, seek medical attention. 
This is just a guide and is NOT by anyway intended to replace medical attention.
If it is an emergency call 911 or your local ambulance company or take your child to your doctor or your Emergency Room.

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End Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Can Be Stopped
If you suspect that a friend or loved one is being physically hurt in a relationship, you may not know what to do or how you can help.  And what do you do if the person being battered is you?  The thing to remember is that violence is not acceptable and domestic violence can be stopped.

The first thing to do if you or someone you know is being physically abused is to seek domestic violence assistance by calling the national Battered Women’s Hotline at 1-800-500-1119.  It is available 24 hours a day should you ever need them.  You can remain anonymous and still get the information and help you need. 

They can provide names and telephone numbers of places where a person being battered can go locally.  If you’re not the person in need, they can give you the best advice on how you can help someone else get out of that situation.  They can also suggest support groups of others that are dealing with abuse.  These groups have other women in them that have been through abuse and come out on the other side, not as a victim but as a victor.

It is also important to help in other ways, too.  You could offer to volunteer some time at a local shelter, hotline, or an agency that works to bring attention to this blight on society.  Encourage and fight for anti-violence seminars to be used in schools and workplaces.  Contact local politicians and state legislatures to address the issue of domestic violence. 

Recognize the fact that domestic violence is NOT a women’s only club, although the majority of cases of domestic violence are against women.  Men can be abused the same way a women can, but they are less likely to talk about it.  And it is common knowledge that child abuse is also a problem in society.

The best way to stop domestic violence is for the person being abused to recognize that it is happening, leave the relationship, and don’t go back into it.  Learn the signs of spousal abuse.  If you notice that a friend or loved one is in this type of relationship, help them realize that they need to leave for their own safety and the safety of their children, if they have them.  No matter how much they may want the abuser to change, it’s not likely to happen without some type of counseling.

The fact that domestic violence is a crime seems to elude those who are the perpetrators of abuse.  In some cases, they may not even realize that they’re being abusive.  However, this does not mean they are not responsible for their actions.  They still need to seek professional help to overcome their abusive tendencies so others won’t be their victims.

Domestic violence CAN be stopped, and it should be stopped.  By bringing attention to the problem of domestic violence perhaps more stringent laws will be passed.  Doing what we can to help stop the violence is a goal that can be worked on together.

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Domestic Violence Awareness

October is the month we need to learn about Domestic Violence and about preventing domestic violence.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month began as the “Day of Unity” in October 1981. The idea was started by the National Coalition against Domestic Violence and has grown from a day-long event to one that lasted a week. Finally it was extended to cover the entire month of October because this topic is so important.

People have probably heard of domestic violence but many don’t know what it is. In its simplest terms, domestic violence is a pattern that occurs in a relationship where one person tries to gain power and control of the other. Although it is often referred to as “spousal abuse”, victims of domestic violence can be of any age, religion, or gender. On average there are more than three women killed in a domestic violence murder.

Domestic violence isn’t an issue about anger. In fact, an abusive spouse may not ever physically harm another person besides their own spouse. They will also wait until there are no witnesses before they will begin to bad talk or abuse their spouse.

Control is the issue behind spousal or domestic abuse. One person wants to attempt to have total control over their spouse and they’ll do anything to accomplish that goal. Here are some of the strategies that an abusive spouse may use:

1. Dominance: They need to feel like they are in charge. They may make all family decisions and expect you to obey them without question. You may also be treated like a child or a servant.

2. Humiliation: They will use derogatory talk to make you feel bad about yourself. If they convince you that you’re not worth loving and they’re doing you a favor by staying with you, you’ll be less likely to leave.

3. Isolation: They want to maintain your dependence upon them so they cut you off from the outside world. You may not be able to meet or talk to friends or family, to the point where you are not allowed to leave the house without them being with you.

4. Threats: Abusive relationships use this tactic to keep their family from leaving. They may threaten to call child services or may even say they’ll kill themselves if the other partner leaves.

5. Intimidation: Abusers use intimidation to scare you into submission. They may slam something in front of you, destroy your things, or hurt your family pet.

6. Denial and blame: Abusers will make excuses for their behavior or blame their victim for it.

7. Guilt: What usually occurs after an abusive episode is that the abuser feels guilty, but not because of what they’ve done. They may apologize but are more worried about facing the consequences of their actions.

Domestic violence is something no one wants to endure. Unfortunately it is all too often an occurrence. That is the reason Domestic Violence Awareness Month was instituted. The hope is that by making more people aware of the violence it will stop.

If you would like to read more on the Domestic Violence Statistics you can do so by clicking HERE

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Could My Child Be Getting Bullied?

 
Schools have had bullies since public schools started.  Either they picked on the other students because they were bigger, or because they needed to feel better about themselves by putting others down.  The problem hasn’t stopped; in fact it has gotten worse in recent years.  You may be wondering if your child could be getting bullied at school.

How do you tell if your child is being bullied?  There are certain warning signs that may indicate your child is being bullied.  They may include, but are not limited to:

* Coming home with torn clothing, and/or constantly losing clothing, books, or other things that belong to them.
* Finding that they have cuts or bruises when they return home that they didn’t have when they left for school.
* Having very few friends, and the ones they do have they don’t spend much time with.
* Appearing to be afraid of going to school, being a part of organized activities at school, or riding the bus to and from school.
* Beginning to complain about having a headache, stomach ache, or other things that will keep them at home.
* Starting to wet the bed.
* Personality changes such as being moody, overly sensitive, angry, or depressed.

If your child begins to act in any of the above ways it doesn’t necessarily mean that your child is being bullied at school.  It could be that there is something else going on that is causing them stress.  The best thing you can do to figure out what’s going on is to talk openly and honestly with your child.

Don’t be afraid to ask them point blank if they’re being bullied at school.  If they tell you that they are, tell your child to keep track of all bullying in a journal.  Have them include the name of the people involved, when and where it happened, what the bullying was in as much detail as possible, and if anyone else witnessed the incident.

It’s time to take action as soon as you know that bullying has occurred.  Contact your child’s teacher and let them know of your concerns.  Ask the teacher if they have seen any times when your child has been bullied.  You may also ask if your child gets along with the other students in class besides the ones bullying.

If nothing changes after your meeting with the teacher, speak with the principal of the school.  They should have a policy regarding bullying, so they need to be aware of the problem.  Be sure to take notes from each meeting you have with anyone in the school system.

No one wants their child to be bullied at school but it happens all too often.  Pay attention to your child and how they act.  Talk to them if you feel bullying may be a possibility.  Then talk with the teacher or principal to report the problem and see what can be done to change it.

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Night of Surgery

Well he had his surgery today. He was in there for about 2 hours again. We got good news in the respect that nothing has worsened. Nothing is better but nothing is worse either and that is considered to be good news around here. There is a little bit of bad news. Jamie can’t talk again. It is a struggle to know and understand what he is saying but we are making it through. He doesn’t remember the sign language that he learned before but I can read his lips to know pretty much everything that he says. There isn’t anyone else that can figure it out quite like I can but I have had experience. We have been through the “I can’t talks” more than once.
Jamie was really nervous this morning. Just as soon as his eyes opened, he starting gagging. He was so upset and now is so glad that is it all over. He teases Dr. Rodgers about wanting a tattoo while he is asleep. He usually wants a race car, of course. Dr. Rodgers told him that he was going to hide it and make him search for it. When he came out of the operating room his trach tie had broken and his trach was 1/2 way falling out. I had to hold his trach in until we got a new tie to keep it from coming out. My honey came over to the PACU (Post Anesthesia Care Unit) until Jamie came back from the OR. He got to see him right out of surgery but of course Jamie slept right through it. I asked him if he remembered him being there and he said yes but I am not sure that he did. Well, anyway, here is the picture of his tattoo. Thanks Dr. Rodgers, he loves it! I just hope that it doesn’t race around his stomach all night and keep him awake.. lol
Dr. Rodgers also said that he may “paint” his airway where all of this scar tissue grows with a chemotherapy, that I can’t for the life of me remember the name right now. He said that is may help the scar tissue from growing so much and there isn’t really any side effects. That sure would be nice if it works with out any side effects. We will see. We go back October 30th to schedule his next surgery. He said we should do it again at three months. OK, I am going to lay down now. I am really just exhausted. Have a great night.

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Surgery Coming

Well, Jamie is having surgery on September 23rd.  He wanted to wait until after his birthday came and went before he had it again.  His birthday was the 15th.  He was 12 years old… WOW I can’t imagine that!  I made him a cake but he didn’t try any of the icing this time.  Usually he will take a little tiny bit on his finger and eat it.  He tried some the week before so I guess that counts :-) 

 The picture to the left is Jamie blowing his candles out.  He had 12 on there and it took a few times to get them out but he did it… a little help with the last three by mom

Take a few minutes to look below and see a couple of pics of our puppies, (My daughters, I call them)

I also got some more news tonight.  My ex has changed jobs.  There won’t be anymore week day visits with Jamie (Jeremy still isn’t going)… and the weekends will only be one night.  Maybe that will make Jeremy want to go back again one day (since the time is so much less).  Yesterday Jamie was picked up and Jeremy made such an effort to ride his bike in front of his dad to get some attention from him.  He was trying to talk to him and be nice to him but he didn’t really get that done.  His dad maybe said three words to him the whole time.  I don’t know if he meant to do that or not and I don’t know if Jeremy noticed it so much since he was riding his bike… BUT… I noticed.  I ask him everytime if he wants to go and he gets mad at me now.  He told me, “I don’t want to go until further notice, why do you keep asking me?”… Then he told me to stop asking him, that he would let me know if he wanted to go.  I hate this.  I really wanted for his dad to see how he was hurting him and actually they could make up.  Even yesterday, he was trying to reach out to his dad and didn’t get any response.  How can a dad not see that????  How can he not see how much Jeremy is hurting???  Doesn’t he care???  I couldn’t live with myself if I thought that either one of my sons thought I hated them.  My boyfriend shows him more love and attention then his own father and we only get to see him an average of once a week (he lives an hour away).  I wanted to tell him, thank you.  If you read this, I want you to know that you are appreciated.  You are loved and valued and you can make them feel loved and valued.  Something that their father should do and continues to fall short of…. all the time.

Haley                                                                  

 

Grandma and Dottie Mae

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Halloween Desserts

I am so excited about Halloween.  I just love this holiday.  You get to dress up and be ANYTHING that you want to be and no one thinks you are crazy… or at least not as crazy as they would think you are if you did it any other time of the year!

    I have been searching online for some Halloween recipes to make this year for the kids.  I have put together a few of my favorites and will be including them here.

Why not start the night out with the

Spooky Eyeball Tacos????

Ingredients Needed

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Today’s Radio Show

I was a guest on a radio show today.  I had an excellent time being interviewed for the first time.  I was a little nervous but I was told that it didn’t show.  I would love to know what others think about the show.  I really want to get the message out there that parents of children with special needs aren’t alone.  Even when you feel like there just can’t be anyone else that feels this lonely, there are.  It can sometimes be a hard life and a struggle to remain sane but there isn’t any part of it that isn’t worth the love that is given back to you.  For me, that is what keeps me going, keeps me sane and is the reason that I hold on and do all that I do.

If you would like to hear the actual show, please go to Mom RN’s Show

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