court is done again for now

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Well, court has been post poned until August 4th.  His visitation has been suspended until then and he has to bring a progress report from his therapist with him when he comes to court in August.  I hope this turns out well and their dad takes the chance to get better so he can try to rebuild the relationship with Jamie and Jeremy.  I don’t know if it will be too late for the boys or not.  If their dad doesn’t make a REAL effort then it may just be too late.  I will do what ever I can to help him to rebuild their relationship but he has to do his part…. or I won’t help at all.  I can’t do it for him and I will NOT influence the boys either direction.

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Today….

Hello.  Today is the day before Mother’s Day.  Tomorrow is the day before court day.  I am anxious for the day to come and get this over with.  I just don’t see how the judge can not see how all of this effects these two boys and how he can not help them.  I can’t see how any sane person can not see what these boys need.  I know the judge that we are going in front of, we have been in front of him twice already and he seems to be very sane and very reasonable.  He doesn’t seem to be the type to put up with his bull and will stand up for these wonderful children.  They don’t deserve what they are being exposed to.  I am so proud of them for being brave enough to stand up for their selves.  I guess they have learned some of what I have tried to teach them and they know I mean it when I tell them they are special and only deserve the best.  Who knew they were listening lol?????   :-)

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A “running time post”

This post is going to be a “running time post”…. I will be adding to it until I know what is going to happen.  Sunday, April 20, 2008 they boys came home from their dads.  They didn’t really act that much different than they usually act.  Jeremy went to school on Monday as usual but when he got home he was very upset.  He was very angry and had a very bad attitude.  He finally told me that his dad had threatened to kill me again.  He told me that his dad told them, “I should have shot her when I had the chance” again this weekend.  He said that his dad tells him that he wishes he was dead and that he knew this wasn’t a good thing to say but that sometimes he wished he was too, so he didn’t have to deal with him anymore.  I called the police and made a report.  I thought that this time and the time in December were the only two times but Jeremy said that he has done it more than that, he just didn’t tell me.  He was sobbing and got very angry.  I told him that he needed to talk to the people in his day program at school.  He said that he would tell them. 

Tuesday, April 22, 2008, Jeremy came home and was still very upset and angry.  We were going to go to school the next day for his straight A’s award ceremony.  After the ceremony I was told that I needed to have a talk with them.  I knew then that Jeremy did tell them.  I won’t go in too much detail (we were in there for 30 minutes or more).  They said that Jeremy was afraid to go with his dad.  He told them about the threats to me and the wishing he was dead (his dad not him).  He told them that if his daddy hurt his mommy he would hurt his daddy and that he had a loaded gun at the bottom of his steps in his house.  They said that they were going to report this to CPS (Child protective services).  This was the third call that they received this week (that I know of from others than the school).  They were very concerned about how scared Jeremy was and how he felt he needed to protect me. 

CPS came to school on Friday 4-25-08 and interviewed Jeremy.  She then called me and said that she had interviewed him and he told her everything and that he doesn’t want to go with his daddy anymore. 

I won’t go in to anymore of the details right now… So much has happened….  We go to court on Monday, May 12, 2008.  I have gotten three phone messages from him since the paperwork has been filed…  angry ones (of course).  I will be taking them to court too.  He says he is wants to sign over his rights to them because “it isn’t worth wasting his time”.  I wish he would go in and admit to his problems and ask for forgiveness and actually change so that one day the kids would want to see him again… but the chances of that happening aren’t that great.  He thinks he does NOTHING wrong and all of this is my fault.  Only thing I have told the boys is to tell the truth, tell the judge how they feel and what they really want.  I have also told them that I will stand behind them 100% in whatever they decide to do.  All the times that Jeremy has asked me to talk to his dad and “make him be nice”… I have asked him to realize that he is hurting them… and to stop hurting them.  I have also told Jeremy that as I see it he only has two choices… he can accept his daddy like he is and learn to put up with it.. or he could decide to stay away from him.  That he can’t change his daddy and neither can I… and that I will support their decisions, no matter what they are.  I have done that.  I have not agreed with the way that thier daddy treats them and the way that he talks to them and what he says to them….  but back then he wanted to go and give his daddy another chance so.. I supported them.  I let them go more than the papers said they had to go because that is what they wanted to do at the time.  I let them go last summer for 5 nights and that is not in our papers ANYWHERE!!  They wanted to go and I supported them.  I worried about them while they were gone and was glad when they came home but I “grinned and beared it”.  Because that is what they wanted.  They wanted to go and I said ok.  I don’t know what more I could do to support them and them still wanting to see their dad… just the same as I am supporting them now when they are afraid of him and don’t want to go.

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