Good News

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    We went to see the doctor this Thursday and I am very happy.  He said that Jamie will most likely have the trach for a LONG time if not forever but that the tumors aren’t quite as bad as we thought.  He said that there is extra tissue there and it is being compressed but he doesn’t think that it will be compressed closed and that he doesn’t seem to be in any immediate danger.  YAY!  That is great news!  I am so excited that I can’t hardly sit still.

    I may be off the internet for a little while.  Just a week or two I think.  I will post the very day that I come back on so that everyone knows I am back.  We are switching over from local cable to Directv and the internet that I was going to have to sign up with was just too much every month, so I am shopping around and I have to get it hooked up so it may take a week or two.  Hopefully not that long.  See ya soon!

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We go to UVA again

We have to go to UVA again on Thursday to see the surgeon about scheduling Jamie’s next surgery and follow up from the last one.  In the next month we already have 3 scheduled and will be making the surgery the 4th.  The last one is in March (5th) but from Feb 7th that is less than 4 weeks.

    The boys and watched the Super Bowl last night.  Jeremy was so excited to get to see the end of it before he went off to bed.  Jamie wanted the Patriots and Jeremy and I wanted the Giants.  Neither of them was “my team” but I liked the Giants more.  My friend called me at the end and said that the Patriots coach wouldn’t even shake the hand of the Giants coach.  I don’t know if that part was true or not because I didn’t see it, I was putting down a 9 year old to bed :-), but that is just wrong.  Poor sportsmanship, if you ask me… which of course no one really did lol. 

    Well, I won’t stay on here long.  That same 9 year old is getting ready for school.  Have a great Monday everyone.

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Ugh…. yet again

    This past Friday or Saturday when the mail came I had a little surprise.  Last year when I signed up my son for the home schooling it was our agreement that I would help pay the down payment and that my ex would pay the $55 monthly for 6 months to finish paying for his school.  Well, I had gotten a letter a couple of months ago saying that we owed $250 and we had thirty days to pay or it will go to collections.  He called them and made arrangements to make the monthly payments again and that it was going to be taken care of.  Now the letter says that the total owed is $280 and that there have been no payments since 7-26-07.  This doesn’t really surprise me.  However, it does REALLY make me mad!  Not only does he want to fight about money and not paying me anymore for them but he won’t pay the bills that he agreed to pay for our son.  I really feel bad for the boys.  I feel bad that I didn’t choose a better father for them.  I am the one that stuck them with him as their father.  Having them is the ONLY reason I will never say that I wish I had NEVER met him.  If I could say that I wish I never met him and still have these two boys with someone else, I would do that in a second. 

    I don’t know what to do to make him see how he is hurting them when he calls me names to them.  How he is changing their lives forever.  I guess I just assumed that if you really love someone you look at things from their point of view.  (at least some of the time).  I thought that you would do what you could to make their life better, not try to bring them down and make them hurt. 

Last weekend when they got home it was bad.  Jeremy had a melt down in his bedroom.  He was crying and hitting his bed and pillow and screaming in to his pillow.  I feel so bad for him.  It is hard for him to understand what is going on.  He says he doesn’t know who to believe.  I try not to tell him things but when his dad tells him these horrible things that are NOT true, how can I let him think that everything my ex says is true?  What should I say to him?  How do I handle these things?  I have to explain things to him that he shouldn’t even know about.  For instance… he was told that the reason we were divorced was because his dad was tired of giving me (”my lazy fat A**” as he calls me to them) money for everything and that is why he left.  That is so NOT true.  I can prove what happened by the protective order and what was said in court (how he admited to things) but I won’t do it.  When he gets older, I will if he wants to know the truth but he is just 9.  That is not fair to him to see those things nor could he process them at this time.  But it is SO not fair for my ex to be telling him these lies.  I just keep thinking… one day he will know the truth and all will be better.  But, seriously??? How long does this take???

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