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Today’s Radio Show
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I was a guest on a radio show today. I had an excellent time being interviewed for the first time. I was a little nervous but I was told that it didn’t show. I would love to know what others think about the show. I really want to get the message out there that parents of children with special needs aren’t alone. Even when you feel like there just can’t be anyone else that feels this lonely, there are. It can sometimes be a hard life and a struggle to remain sane but there isn’t any part of it that isn’t worth the love that is given back to you. For me, that is what keeps me going, keeps me sane and is the reason that I hold on and do all that I do.
If you would like to hear the actual show, please go to Mom RN’s Show
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My upcoming Talk Radio Show Appearance
I have to say that I am VERY honored to be on Tamara Walker’s show. I heard her show from today and she had Kirk Cameron on talking about his new movie, “Fireproof”. I can’t wait to see it now.
Make sure you come and check out her show… http://www.blogtalkradio.com/stations/flylady/momrn
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Guest on Radio Show
I am scheduled to be a guest on Tamara Walker’s Talk Radio Show- Online- at MomRnTamara on Monday, August 25th @ 12 noon Eastern Time.
She has an hour long show and I will be interviewed about raising children with special needs. You can call in and ask questions by calling 1-347-945-7957. Come check out her show and talk to us. I am looking forward to doing her show and getting out some more information about my son, his condition and what it is like to be a parent, in my view, of a special needs child.
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My New Business
I have really been struggling with the whole income thing. I have been trying so many different things, none of which have really worked out for me, at least not the way I wanted them to. I have, in my joining the Mom Mastermind’s site, found something that I am VERY excited about! I finally feel like I can have a real job, provide a service that is in need and make a life for myself and my kids.
I am building Blogs for Businesses. Specializing in the smaller Hometown businesses that can’t really afford a web designer to build their site, but paying to keep up their site and add content. I can teach you how to update your own site just as easily as signing in and sending emails.
Come and check out my business blog and see what we have to offer.
www.TheBlogStation.com - Web Solutions for the Hometown Business
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Over reaction???
I had a problem this last week. We lost Jamie’s night nurse. The week before last, I found my nanny cam and decided that I would put it in Jamie’s room. I figured that when there isn’t a day nurse and I haven’t had a whole lot of sleep I could turn it on and lie on the couch and be able to keep a constant watch on him while he was sleeping. I put this camera in Jamie’s room, taped to the front of one of his dressers, in plain site. This particular nurse came in the night that it was put on the dresser and Sun, Mon and Tues of the next week. On Tuesday night, I had a hard time going to sleep. It was about 4 am when I was finally able to drift off. Sometime around 6 am (not really sure of the time), I heard a knock at my bedroom door. It was this nurse telling me that Jamie’s vent had beeped twice and he didn’t know what was causing it. He said that this had happened a lot one night the week before (the way he descirbed it, the night the week before was so much more that this night, however, I was not woken up that previous night) and he didn’t know what to do to fix it. I told him what I could think of in my very much only 1/2 awake state, the same things that we had been over several times before this night when his vent had beeped in this same way. (Most of the time there gets a little bit of water in one of the tubes and he was instructed on the best way to get out that water, he was also told to wake me up if something happened). But before he left my doorway, he asked, “Did you install a camera in Jamie’s room?” I, of course said yes, as I had done so just a few days before. He wanted to know what it was for. I explained to him that it was for me to be able to check on Jamie when I am in the living room so that I don’t have to go in to his room everytime I hear just the slightest noise. He made the comment that if I did install a camera in there, that he couldn’t be here with a camera. I didn’t really give that comment much thought, since I figured I had explained it’s purpose and that it had nothing to do with him or his time here.
The following morning, he woke me again at 8 am to sign his time slip because he was leaving. Now this is something that they usually only want me to do once per week and waking me to sign it before he leaves when he is coming back that very night was not something that he did. Then, I figured that he was going to call off that night or was going to quit. While signing his two papers, he went on to tell me that the ”Story” that he got from the day nurse that was relieving him was not what I told him, that he was an excellent nurse and didn’t need to be watched. He also stated that he didn’t want to end up on “You Tube” picking his nose. I have to say, I don’t know why he would think that I would do that. I personally wouldn’t want to see anyone picking their nose, not even a celebrity, so why would I do that to him? I have to say, I was a little stunned. First of all, what gave that other nurse the right to tell him any “Story”? She didn’t put the camera there, she was just getting ready to leave for the day when I put the camera on the dresser the week before. Second, why would he believe the “Story” that she gave him over me? I was the owner and installer of the camera, and I imagine that would make me the one person that would know the reason for it’s presence. I don’t understand what gives him the expectation that I should automatically trust him with my child but I wasn’t supposed to be trusted that I wouldn’t tape him doing something embarrassing and post it all over the internet? I didn’t hide the camera, it was in PLAIN SITE and if you have to do something like pick your nose, you could walk out of the camera’s area and do so and no one would ever know the difference. I also don’t understand how putting this camera out in plain site is so horrible. If I thought that one of the nurses was doing something that was wrong, I would have made sure that camera was hidden and no one would have known it was there and it would have been hooked up to tape. He didn’t even give me a chance to show him that it was not taping or to talk about it more. He just called and quit based on what another nurse told him that doesn’t really know what the camera was for, just what she assumed it was for. She also said that he was mad because he wasn’t told that it was there. Well, if it was hidden, he would have never known it was there and I wouldn’t have told him it was there! The fact that he didn’t get here until midnight every night and that I was thinking a lot about the court date that was coming up, I didn’t tell him that I had put the camera there. I didn’t really think that anyone would have reacted like that. I mean, my idea is that if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, then the only thing that a camera would do is prove that fact. If you aren’t doing what you are supposed to be doing then the camera would have proved that fact, if I even had it hooked up to tape him all night. The longer time goes and the more I think about it the less I want him here anyways. What was he doing so horrible that he didn’t want me to see? The fact that the camera was in plain site and could be seen should show that I wasn’t trying to “catch” someone doing something wrong. The fact that he saw it and could see exactly where it was pointed should have been a good thing so that he wouldn’t do anything embarrassing in front of it.
I feel very unjustly “punished” for this camera in my sons room. I guess I should have been sneaky with it and hidden it. I am just not a naturally sneaky person and didn’t really think it would be such a huge deal that I couldn’t show and prove to him what it was for and that he hadn’t been taped. And people wonder why it is so hard to trust some stranger in your home at night while you sleep… what was he REALLY doing?? What would I have caught him doing if I had been taping him? I am curious about that, but since I never did watch him or tape him, I will never really, truly know the answers to those questions….
What do you think??? I would love to hear some different points of view on this situation…
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Working from home???
I have been a “stay at home” mom for the last almost 12 years. I was a 911 dispatcher when my oldest son was born and he was just 3 months old when he was admited to the hospital the first time for 6 weeks. If you want, you can find a lot more information about him and the struggles we have been through on this blog, so I won’t go any further about that in here.
I have been finding it harder and harder to make ends meet with the very limited income that I have coming in. I have had a few “dead end” jobs over the last 12 years but I have had a hard time keeping all of them. As soon as a nurse calls in, I have to call off and they haven’t been very dependable over the years, but yet again, that is covered in a different part of this blog. I have been searching and searching for something to do from home that I could make a living. I am not wanting to get RICH, I just really want to make a living.
One day in my searching online for “Work At Home Mom” sites, I stumbled upon Mom Mastermind’s. Mom Mastermind’s is a membership only site that it full of valuable information that not everyone knows about working at home, internet traffic and blogging for profit or personal use. Mom Mastermind’s offers a free one week trial to see if it is really for you and access to certain parts of the site during that free trial. I did the free trial but couldn’t figure out a place in my budget for the monthly charge. I went back to the site just recently and looked over it again. There was so much information located in this site that I couldn’t begin to see and learn everything, not even just the portions that are available in the free trial. I made the decision to join and I have learned so much in the last month. I have visited the site just about every day and have read, reread and even posted a few times on the Member Forum.
Come and check out Mom Mastermind’s and see if you too find the fit that you are looking for. Hope to see you there!
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Recent Days
We went to court on Monday, Aug. 4th. They boys are going to start going back with their dad every other weekend and he is allowed to see them on Wednesday nights for three hours. I don’t know how that will go, so far the boys say that their dad is good and isn’t hurting their feelings at all. I hope that continues! So far so good. I am going to be posting something tonight or tomorrow about the day that I had today. It was a pretty bad day. Sometimes I wonder if dealing with the nurses is worth it or not. Sometimes I say NO!!!
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Update on the fam
Well, it has been a little while. There have been a few things going on here. First, the kids and I met with the Guardian ad Litem and she recommended letting the boys see their dad the last three Sundays before we go to court. They went this past Sunday for their first visit. They were excited about seeing him and they said the time with him went well. I have heard of some not so good comments to them from others in his family. Jeremy said that when he said hi and that he hadn’t seem them in a while, he was told “that’s because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut”. That is so NOT fair. Jeremy has been not feeling well since he got home. He says that he didn’t eat the whole 6 hours he was gone and they were out in the heat for a couple of hours. I don’t know much else about the visit, I am afraid to ask. I want to know but I don’t want to push them either.
Second, I have started a new online website. http://www.AmyJoOnline.com is my new site. I have this site for my businesses and other adventures. I have an invention that I am working on getting out in to the public. I have a talk radio show that I just started and I am studying for a new career. I love to write and I have decided to make a living at it. I am going to be a copywriter. I think that I can be good at it, I just need to learn a little bit. Well, anyways, I will be going now. I have to get to the pharmacy to pick up some medicines for the kids and try to stay cool. Have a great day and come check out my new site too. www.AmyJoOnline.com
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PTSD??? Post I wrote on PTSD forum… Do I have it?
Hello all. My name is Amy and I am a 36 year old mother of two wonderful little boys. My oldest is 11 and has been sick all of his life. He got a trach when he was 3 months old and was put on a ventilator at age 2. We have spent most of our time in and out of hospitals over the last almost 12 years. When asked what is his prognosis, the doctors said that they didn’t know… that he shouldn’t still be alive now.
I have done CPR on him 5-6 times at home, almost all of which I was alone with him. I can still remember the way he looked and the intense fear that went thru me that I was going to be there alone and watch him die right in front of me if I didn’t save him. I avoid talking about it and even right now I have started crying and feel anxious just writting this. I have started a book that I would really like to get finished. My youngest son has ADHD and his therapist said he thinks that I could have PTSD. I have been avoiding getting help for it because I don’t want to talk about the things that I know they are going to want to talk about. I do my best to ignore those thoughts when they come in to my head.
I have trouble sleeping, concentrating and I am always worried and feel that I have to be “on guard” to make sure that he is ok. He has nursing in the home 16 hours a day and I sometimes have a hard time letting the nurses take care of him to the point where I lie awake all night (or until 5 am) listening to make sure he is ok. I cry if you just look at me. Sad or happy things either one make me ball like a baby.
I divorced their father because he was very mean. He was abusive to me. He called me names, threatened to kill me and was just plain nasty. There is NO ONE in the world that knows what I have been thru with my son. NO ONE knows how much it hurts to watch him suffer and not be able to fix it.
I decided to look up PTSD tonight and take a quiz. I answered yes to 17 of 22 questions and was sent here. I am not glad that anyone else suffers from this but I am glad to know that I am not alone. I want to be happy. I want to truly enjoy the wonderful man that I have in my life now and be the woman that he deserves. I don’t want to cry just because. I don’t want to be irritable anymore and then feel horrible for it afterwards. I want to feel as strong as everyone keeps telling me that I am. I want to know how special I am to have made it this far. Thanks for “listening”.
Come see him if you would like…. He truly is amazing. :-) Jamie’s Page
Amy
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Sorry about the delay
My laptop has been broken for about a month and I just got it back yesterday. I have been really going crazy with out it. I have an old HP computer that is about 10 years old that I have been trying to get online with but the fact that it is that old should speak for how SLOW it has been.
The kids have been doin really well. They seem to be happy. The ONLY thing that I have said to them about their dad was just yesterday I asked Jeremy if he wanted to call his daddy for Father’s Day coming up. I told him if he wanted to call him that was ok and if he didn’t want to call him that was ok too. I also told him that I didn’t know what kind of conversation it would be because I didn’t know if his daddy was in a good mood or not because I haven’t talked to him since we went to court (4 weeks ago this past Monday), the same as when he talked to him the last time. The judge said that he was allowed to call them to keep contact with them and so far he has NOT called even ONE time. I don’t know why or what is going on with him. The kids have NOT asked to call him even ONE time. We meet with the Guardian At Litem in July. I think that is a great thing for the kids to have. Someone to speak for them that ISN’T me so I can’t be blamed for being the one that wants this. They need their own voice and they definately have their own opinions and that is what counts. Not HIM OR I matter in this… THEY DO!!!!
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